Searching for a meaning!
Early in the morning this thought crossed my mind...what am i doing with my life?
what am i living for?Is this the kind of life i have imagined for myself....?There is only one answer to all of these-NO!
There is a choice that i have-to live a life that most of the people around me do-a life full of superficiality,shallowness and complexity.
Or a life of simplicity.Now with simplicity i do not mean a simple outlook,
By the word simple i mean, the simplicity of thoughts,an ability to think deep,to think SIMPLE.
I have come across many people, even my own friends, who rate simplicity based on the kind of clothes the person wears.I have always wondered, if thats how simplicity is accounted for.
Iam a person,who is regarded as very stylish,i keep getting comments like-"u dress very smartly, or that u carry urself damn well..u got a great dressing sense etc etc- now that does not make me not simple!Simplicity arises from within-from the way one thinks,
from the attitude that one carries towards life.
I have always wanted to lead a life where there is much more meaning than just chilling out with friends and havin fun all the time.Now again,Iam a v fun loving person,who knows how to enjoy life-but then life doesnt end there.
I imagine a life where i have more to look forward to-more meaning-more depth-broader perspective-high thinking-!
I dont want to waste my years just like that-having fun, and achieving nothing.Everyday of my life seems to be just the same,
wake up in the morning, go for work(where again,iam working half the time, n the other half we seem to have no work-killing time again)..come bk home in the evng,n go out again wid friends who have been waiting for u-which leaves no choice for u to say a no, u dont want to hurt them obviously.by the time iam back home..its time to sleep!n this goes on...every single day of my life...it pinches me..gives me a terrible sense of dissatisfaction with myself.And it results in enormous anger,irritation and frustration leading to stress!My efforts of being nice for all these days goes waste.I gain nothing!
All my plans of going to the gym,joining a computer class, going for an art of living class adding some meaning to my life...etc etc...goes in vain!
N who is to be blamed?Me ofcourse!!
I sometimes feel i have dual personality-someone who wants to have fun-but at the same time,who is scared that she is losing out on time n on life.
Its not that i do not have the determination to do things,its not even that i dont have time do things-its just that in trying to please everyone around me-i tend to displease myself.I want to be among the goodbooks of my friends and for that i have to go out with them, and do everything that they do-whether its sitting in the canteen for hours
and wasting time, or its simply bunking lectures and doing smthg that totally disintersts me..
Everytime i try n put forward my word-tell ppl that lets do smthg constuctive with our lives-i hear them sayin-sakshi has gone mad!
She is a scholar-she always wants to study-she is not attched to us-she this she that!
I cant do anything-i cant live w/o them and i cant keep living with them-this way!
In the process of my killing time,the time is killing me!but iam unable to take a step forward n do smthg about it
iam swayed away by the crowd-a crowd that i dont belong to!
Early in the morning this thought crossed my mind...what am i doing with my life?
what am i living for?Is this the kind of life i have imagined for myself....?There is only one answer to all of these-NO!
There is a choice that i have-to live a life that most of the people around me do-a life full of superficiality,shallowness and complexity.
Or a life of simplicity.Now with simplicity i do not mean a simple outlook,
By the word simple i mean, the simplicity of thoughts,an ability to think deep,to think SIMPLE.
I have come across many people, even my own friends, who rate simplicity based on the kind of clothes the person wears.I have always wondered, if thats how simplicity is accounted for.
Iam a person,who is regarded as very stylish,i keep getting comments like-"u dress very smartly, or that u carry urself damn well..u got a great dressing sense etc etc- now that does not make me not simple!Simplicity arises from within-from the way one thinks,
from the attitude that one carries towards life.
I have always wanted to lead a life where there is much more meaning than just chilling out with friends and havin fun all the time.Now again,Iam a v fun loving person,who knows how to enjoy life-but then life doesnt end there.
I imagine a life where i have more to look forward to-more meaning-more depth-broader perspective-high thinking-!
I dont want to waste my years just like that-having fun, and achieving nothing.Everyday of my life seems to be just the same,
wake up in the morning, go for work(where again,iam working half the time, n the other half we seem to have no work-killing time again)..come bk home in the evng,n go out again wid friends who have been waiting for u-which leaves no choice for u to say a no, u dont want to hurt them obviously.by the time iam back home..its time to sleep!n this goes on...every single day of my life...it pinches me..gives me a terrible sense of dissatisfaction with myself.And it results in enormous anger,irritation and frustration leading to stress!My efforts of being nice for all these days goes waste.I gain nothing!
All my plans of going to the gym,joining a computer class, going for an art of living class adding some meaning to my life...etc etc...goes in vain!
N who is to be blamed?Me ofcourse!!
I sometimes feel i have dual personality-someone who wants to have fun-but at the same time,who is scared that she is losing out on time n on life.
Its not that i do not have the determination to do things,its not even that i dont have time do things-its just that in trying to please everyone around me-i tend to displease myself.I want to be among the goodbooks of my friends and for that i have to go out with them, and do everything that they do-whether its sitting in the canteen for hours
and wasting time, or its simply bunking lectures and doing smthg that totally disintersts me..
Everytime i try n put forward my word-tell ppl that lets do smthg constuctive with our lives-i hear them sayin-sakshi has gone mad!
She is a scholar-she always wants to study-she is not attched to us-she this she that!
I cant do anything-i cant live w/o them and i cant keep living with them-this way!
In the process of my killing time,the time is killing me!but iam unable to take a step forward n do smthg about it
iam swayed away by the crowd-a crowd that i dont belong to!
posted by SciFi: at 8:49 PM
3 Comments:
hey sweetheart.. Its all about taking things slow... maybe you dont get the time.. but you hv the thght...belive me it counts... because this way..you would grab the first opportunity that comes your way.. dont blame urself...
just hang in there..
love you..
Nice thoughts lady....I must say!!
You are one of the rare ones - to use an old cliché - beauty with brains (yeah...saw u in Orkut :) :) )
Its true that society worships pretentious...fake people...who believe that hedonism is the end-all of life.
We live in the times of superficiality....where preconceived notions and stereotypes rule the roost !
We often lose the 'big picture' while going-through-the-motions of everyday life.
I just love the following quote from one of the greatest psychologists of all time, Ernest Becker -
"Society.....is a vehicle for earthly heroism....Man transcends death by finding the meaning for his life....It is the burning desire for the creature to count....What man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance....
Ritual is the technique for giving life. His sense of self worth is constituted symbolically, his cherished narcissism feeds on symbols, on the abstract idea of his own worth. [Man's] natural yearnings can be fed limitlessly in the domain of symbols".
Will recommend you to read 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull' by Richard Bach (well....it did work for me..atleast :) ….. somewhat satiated my eternal existentialist queries).
Here's a quote from the book---
"For most gulls it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight."
life is nothing , its just a game of fulfilling desires , if one desire gets fulfilled other borns leaving imotions for us
Post a Comment
<< Home